Without Fred
by SilverTrio
Summary: Rating for swearing. For anyone who's read 'The Real Fred Weasley', this is for you! The sequel, but you don't have to have read the first to understand it, it's only a parody after all!
1. Default Chapter

((Well, I had to do a sequel to 'The Real Fred Weasley', and all of a sudden I heard 'Without Me' on the radio. Here you have the product! This goes out to everyone who reviewed 'The Real Fred Weasley' and to Sia-Nacht for her hilarious Aegwyne Eminem parodies!))  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey Fred, it's been a year since your hit performance at the talent show last year," commented George Weasley, plopping down on the couch next to his twin. "Everyone's wondering what you're going to do this year."  
  
"Actually, I wasn't really planning on entering," Fred replied, frowning.  
  
George shrugged. "Your choice." He got up to leave, but Fred's hand shot up and grabbed his shoulder. "Fred?"  
  
"You're not going anywhere until you help me with something."  
  
*~*  
  
"George, everything ready?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so," came a voice from the side of the stage. It was the night of the talent show, and the opening act was nothing less than Fred Weasley's answer to the demand for a repeat of his "The Real Fred Weasley".  
  
"Thank you, my dear man. Now watch your brother work."  
  
The curtains went up.  
  
  
  
"2 Ravenclaw girls go round the outside/ round the outside, round the outside   
2 Ravenclaw girls go round the outside/ round the outside, round the outside ..."  
  
  
George nudged Ron, and they both began thier part, Ron looking a bit agitated.  
  
"Guess whos back, back again  
/ Freddy's back, tell a friend/  
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back/ Guess who's back... "  
  
  
Fred ignored his little brother's reluctance and began catering to an anxious audience.  
  
"I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to  
see George no more they want Fred I'm chopped liver  
("Hey!" No one paid attention to the other Weasley twin's protest.)  
well if you want Freddy, this is what I'll give ya  
a little bit of mischief mixed with some hard liquor  
some pranks that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a shock   
when I get shocked at the hospital wing by Pomfrey when I'm not cooperating  
when I'm rocking the table while she's operating   
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back, I'm on the joke and mischief-making  
I know that you got a job Ms. Malfoy but your husbands heart problem's complicating   
So the Slytherins wont let me be or let me be me so let me see  
they tried to shut it all down on me, but it feels so empty without me  
So come on and dip, canary creams, screw that, my name on your lips and some of your fits and get ready cuz the joke's about to get heavy  
we just settled all our lawsuits Fuck YOU LUDO! "  
  
Fred smirked. Oh, did Malfoy and Bagman look livid.  
  
"Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me   
Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me "  
  
The audienc was howling. Only the Slytherins looked unhappy with Fred's performance.  
  
"Little Hufflepuff kids feeling rebellious  
embarrassed, their Head of House listens to Elvis  
they start feeling the prisoners helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "Divination time"  
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a Trelawney, pollutin the air waves a rebel  
so let me just revel an ask, the fact that I got everyone askin my tricks  
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my stuff you ask for me?  
Well I'm back ( ::George jumps up and the teo make Batman noises:: ) fix your bent wand and tune it in and then I'm gonna  
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter  
The center of attention back for the winter  
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling  
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting  
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me  
here's my 10 knuts my 2 cents is free  
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?"  
  
Oh yeah. By the look on Trewlaney's face at the vision part, Fred was pretty sure he wasn't passing Divination this year.  
  
"Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me   
Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me."  
  
By the look on everyone's faces, Fred was pretty sure he was having too much fun. Well, they HAD asked for it, after all.  
  
"A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talk this shit that shit.   
Damned Malfoys, you can get your asses kicked  
worse than them little other Slytherin bastards, and Bagman  
you can get stomped by Creevy, you fifty someting year old bald headed jerk bite me 


	2. It Continues

You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, give us our damn Galleons  
Now lets go, give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new pranks  
I've been dope, suspenseful with a few spells ever since Zonko turned himself into a symbol  
But sometimes the gossip just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me  
So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene  
Though I'm not the first king of controversy  
I am the worst thing since the Maruaders, to irritate people so wonderfully  
and use it to get myself famous (Hey!)  
there's a concept that works  
20 million other Fred and Georges emerge  
but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me "  
  
Well, it would be empty without them.  
  
"Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me   
Now this looks like a joke for me so everybody just follow me  
cuz we need a little mischievious me, cuz it feels so empty without me "  
  
(Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la)   
  
  
Fred bowed once as the curtains closed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
((Had to do it as soon as I heard the song..)) 


End file.
